


Sparks

by peraltixgo



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe, F/M, Loneliness, POV Female Character, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, Tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 19:17:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20431106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peraltixgo/pseuds/peraltixgo
Summary: After discovering who "Six Drink Amy" was in front of the entire squad, Amy wakes up from a nightmare. She has mixed emotions about her current relationship and what could be, what will she choose?**Set during 2x12 i.e. Beach House**(title based off the song "Sparks" by Coldplay)





	Sparks

Part One

She was running. She didn’t know where, and she didn’t know why, but she was running. An endless field of green, save the occasional flower, was all Amy could see. There was no end, and there was no beginning. She pumped her arms back and forth, her breath and the wind pounding her ears were the only noises present. The sky was dark, not a star or moon to behold. But there was no rain, it was just black. Her motions became so fluid, Amy no longer felt the sensation of her feet hitting the ground, she only knew she was moving because of the motion of the landscape around her. Suddenly, she heard a crack under her feet. She looked down, and tumbled onto the earth. Amy had tripped over a branch, but the moment she made contact with the ground, her eyes squeezed shut and her body jerked. 

Her landing was soft, wide and white. Slowly, she blinked a few times before her eyes were fully opened, and Amy realized where she was. Sweat beaded down her forehead and down her back as she continued to catch her breath. It then hit her all at once. Amy was asleep, lost in such a vivid nightmare she didn’t even know how her subconscious pulled her out of it. It was only a dream, and a shiver ran down her sweat ridden body.

A thin sliver of pale light shone through her bedroom on this getaway weekend, as Amy turned to face the door. It was closed, her belongings neatly sitting on the chair and bedside table. She had little to no memory of the day before; a day full of drinking leading to the emergence of “Six Drink Amy”. Her phone, by some miracle, was charging next to her. To her surprise, Amy also discovered a tall glass of water and two ibuprofen pills waiting for when the full effects of her hangover would kick in. 

Underneath her blankets, Amy smiled, knowing it was Gina. She “babysat” Amy the entire day, only to discover that “Six Drink Amy” would probably cause her to blackout. 

As if right on cue, Amy felt a large pang on the right side of her head as she reached for her phone, the hangover beginning to take effect. She squinted as she lit up her phone screen to check the time. It was 2:15am, and Amy had no idea how long she had been asleep. Five hours? Two weeks? At this point, she had no clue.

Sitting up slightly, she downed the pills and drank half of the cool water. Her mouth was bone dry after consuming so much alcohol, and not being able to complete her normal nightly dental routine. 

Slowly, she sank back onto the pillows below her and adjusted to hopefully drift back into a deep sleep. Her stomach rumbled in hunger and slight pain from the drinks, and Amy became increasingly uncomfortable. The bite of the crisp autumn air on the beach began to take effect on her body, and she began to shiver. 

After some time, however, Amy did fall back to sleep.

_ Thirty minutes later _

This time, Amy woke with a start. She nearly sat straight up as that same line of sweat began to run from the base of her neck down her spine. 

She had been falling, letting go of a tree branch she was so desperately holding on to. There was no one around to help her or hear her screams. In both dreams, she was alone. And the thoughts of loneliness that Six Drink Amy had brought to the surface was now seeping into her subconscious. She  _ was _ utterly alone, trapped in a relationship she wanted out of.

Teddy did not understand her. Yes, he was kind, smart and full of useless information, but he didn’t make her feel safe. Not that Amy Santiago needed protection or anything. 

Her thoughts began to swirl together as she adjusted on her bed, and a single tear slowly rolled down her cheek. She wasn’t one to cry often, but when she did, it was because she was hurt. Maybe it was the hangover, maybe it was the nightmares, but Amy Santiago felt alone. Cold and alone in a stranger’s house, wiping away tears as she desperately tried to get warm. 

After some time, she remembered that Charles had mentioned they all had thermostats to control their individual rooms, something Amy was particularly excited about. She could make her room as warm as she wanted it, with her being freezing quite literally all the time and what not. Smiling to herself thinking about the warm air that would soon envelop the room, Amy began the slow process of getting out of bed. 

The ibuprofen had began to take effect, with her headache pains decreasing in magnitude. She knew it would be even worse in the morning, but for now it was fine. Amy sat upright, still wrapped in all of her blankets, trying to steady her vision and fight off the feelings of dizziness that came with this new position. It took about three minutes, but then she began to feel normal once again. 

The next step involved swinging her legs to the side of the bed, as she exposed her body to the cold air whilst letting out a hiss from its cruel introduction. She longed for her blankets, but Amy knew the faster she got up, the faster she would be warm. 

Finally working up the courage to move, she slowly moved off of her bed to make her way towards the square box fixated on the wall. Her legs were sore and wobbly, as if she was learning how to walk all over again. Amy stopped, and shook her head for a good twenty seconds to clear any cloudiness in her head that was blocking her from completing the task at hand, and continued on.

Throwing her hands up as if she had just won gold in an Olympic sport, Amy had made her way over to the thermostat. Putting her back and head against the wall in utter fatigue, Amy got a good look at her bed in front of her. To its right were her clothes from the day, save her sweatpants which were still on her body, discarded on the floor. Amy looked down, locating those sweatpants and a t shirt that had made itself onto her skin. The thick socks she wore in cool and cold weather were on her feet, even though she did not wear them at all the day before. She stopped for a moment to think who could have done with this, when she stopped mid thought to smile and laugh.

Gina had done this, and proved to Amy right then and there how much of good friends they were. She took care of Amy, though her original intention was to get her drunk. It was noble, it was lighthearted and most importantly, it was fun. 

Turning her attention back to the matter at hand, Amy fiddled around with the heat until it was raised to her liking, and a noise signaled the radiators kicking into overdrive. Proud of herself for such a small accomplishment, Amy strolled back to her bed, excited for the heat. 

She snuggled the sheets around her tighter as she relaxed onto the mattress and let out a sigh of satisfaction. Amy knew she would feel way worse in the morning, but now she was content, even though those thoughts of loneliness still flickered in the back of her mind. 

But, she chose to ignore them, shutting off her mind like an overheating lamp, and closed her eyes for sleep once again.

And thirty minutes after that, her eyes shot open, as her nightmare of continuously falling had repeated itself. 

Her stomach churned at the sensation, even though she really  _ wasn’t _ falling. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes again, just wanting someone to give her a hug and lull her back to sleep. 

But Amy didn’t need “help” to go back to sleep. She wasn’t a toddler that needed to be rocked and soothed, she was an adult who had no prior issues with sleeping or staying asleep. It was just these running thoughts.

Confusion about Teddy, confusion about Jake, confusion about  _ herself _ and her own feelings. Her heart would pump faster when she thought about Jake, yet stayed at a normal pace when she thought about Teddy. Jake had put his heart out on his sleeve before he left to go undercover, and still did so when he returned. But she was with somebody, and they both agreed that nothing was ever going to happen.

But what if she didn’t want that? Did she want Jake? Or did she need time for herself to figure it all out?

Amy Santiago was a woman who was always sure of herself. Sure of her plans, sure of her actions, sure of everything. But lying here at 3:15am in a strange bed, she wasn’t sure of anything. 

She was no longer cold and tossing and turning in her bed was making her sweat a bit. Amy decided to get up, walk around the house a bit using her phone as a flashlight. This would ease her mind, and she’d be able to fall back asleep again. 

Her room was so warm, that when she opened her door, the cool air from the hallway almost slapped her in the face. It was welcoming, though. Amy took deeper breaths than before as the new oxygen filled lungs, and they rid of the stale air trapped within those four walls.

Amy looked right and left down the long hallway, deciding where to venture first. A move left would head towards the stairs and kitchen, but Amy Santiago never indulged in late night snacks to mess up her routine! A move right would lead to the bathroom and the media room, so she decided to head that way. The door right across from hers was Gina’s room: as indicated from the random hotel “DO NOT DISTURB SIGN” that hung on the doorknob. Charles slept peacefully in the master bedroom, his door open slightly.

Rosa’s room was right next to Amy’s and locked, as she expected. The rest slept downstairs, and curious to see what was happening, Amy spun around and headed in the direction of the stairs. 

Holt and Terry opted to share a room with two smaller beds, next to the living room and with their door wide open for all to see, both men truly did not fit in these beds. It was hilarious to see them curl their large bodies into the size appropriate to fit a twin bed, an image that would make Amy giggle for months. 

Hitchcock and Scully shared a blowup bed in the basement, as she could hear their snores coming from the basement.

And finally, she found Jake’s room. His door was halfway open, and to Amy’s surprise, the heat turned up a bit as well. He looked stoic and his head fell to the left side of his face and his hands rested over his head. Amy smiled as she took in the picture before her, of course Jake would never know she was quite literally gawking at him while he slept. His hair was messed by the pillows, and his toned forearms bent at forty five degree angles just enough to show the slight outline of a bicep. 

Following this line slowly to his fingertips, Amy’s heart again began to beat a little faster, and her stomach fluttered. It was this that got her attention, and she quietly shook her head to focus ahead again. She was happy she was best friends with her partner, the two having hit it off ever since their first meeting in 2009. 

There was an ease about their relationship, and nothing was forced. She felt she could tell Jake anything, and he felt the same way. So it was all just satisfying to see her partner sleep peacefully in front of her, after spending the day keeping the entire squad and Captain Holt happy.

And all of a sudden, a wave crashed over her again. A deep, dark, looming wave of loneliness.

Amy made her way back to the kitchen to quell the emotions that were bubbling up, and chose to pour herself a glass of water. She sat on the couch and carefully placed the cup on a coaster on the table in front of her, taking in the stillness of the living room and kitchen in the early morning hours.

The moon still shone bright, a clear image coming from the skylights above her, bright enough to illuminate the rooms. 

She sat in silence, mulling over the scene before her just a few moments ago that made her feel the way she did. Was it because she was away from Teddy? Or from work? Was the hangover effecting her in a different way from the usual symptoms? 

No.

Amy looked up from her glass and towards the hallway where the rooms were again. It was because she longed to be in that last bedroom, sleeping peacefully as well. 

With Jake Peralta at her side. 

It was a moment of clarity, but also perpetual fear. Amy gasped and swallowed slowly as her thoughts began to circle around Jake once again.

Her partner, her best friend, and the man she was falling in love with. 

Amy turned back to her water, finished it, and silently placed the cup in the sink to wash when the sun rose. Standing in front of the stairs before her ascent back to her room, she was faced with a decision.

And she did not know what to choose. 

She cocked her head to the side, astounded at this moment of confusion she was having: because Amy Santiago always makes the right decision. And Amy Santiago never has to think twice about a decision. 

She knew the right answer, she knew which way to go. Her mind was willing her, but her heart wanted to lead in a different direction.

After about five minutes of virtually standing in front of the stairs playing a mental game of tennis, Amy closed her eyes and sighed. Slowly, she grabbed the railing to the stairs, and she was on the move.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated!! xx


End file.
